What’s the point?

Woo! Well, the last time I wrote an update about life on the road I had intended to do so every other week. But, let’s make this more of a sliding scale of success. If I post every other week - hot damn, that’s awesome! If I post once a month - hot damn, that’s sweet! If I post 4 times a year, hot damn, that’s good too! If I post once a year, hot damn - hopefully that means I’m too busy living my best life to write about it.

Either way - here is an update now! It’s been almost three months of living in Jambo, cruising around Southern Idaho and Colorado, and getting used to the small space. And, in an effort to not overuse hot damn - hot dang, I’m digging it.

We got to see a gigantic full moon one night that blew my mind. Another thing I’ve learned that has blown my mind? Double exposures IN CAMERA. I never knew. The world is bigger now. The photo above was a double exposure attempt of said gigantic full moon and Cali, being upset that she wasn’t allowed out on the lava rock.

Even just looking back on some of these pictures they feel so far back - how has the time gone by so quickly? It both feels like we were just in Blaine County checking out all the back roads and working out some house kinks and also like that is so far away (especially the snow…it’s 82 degrees here in Penitente Canyon where I’m writing this).

We’ve had mostly highs and a couple of lows and trying to write about 3 months packed full of living feels pretty overwhelming at this moment - I’d be hard pressed to try and reflect on so many moments all at once. So for now, I’ll throw in some of my most recent musings, a small breakdown, and the slowly emerging feeling of freedom.

I had some time to really dive deep recently - after selling my house, selling/donating/trashing most of my belongings, quitting my job, and leaving the place I’ve called home for 7 years - I was feeling pretty naked. Especially as I was worrying less about if I was going to like this, if my new-to-me house was going to break down, if I was going to miss showering every day - it opened up this new space for worrying about what we’re all even doing here. If I don’t have a job, a home, a space, to help define me - who am I really? What am I adding to the world? But what was I really adding to the world when I had the house, job, space, etc anyway? It was easy to not think about purpose when my purpose was to go to work to make enough money to pay my mortgage (and usually cut it really, really, close). I had no wiggle room to wonder.

Now my wiggle room is like a deep chasm where wonder feels endless. I feel privileged to have that. Living this way comes with a lot of sacrifices of it’s own - but I feel lucky to spend my days as I please pursuing the things that bring me joy.

I’ve started to realize, other than helping others when we can, or bringing joy to other beings as much as possible - there really isn’t much of a point to all of this. This being life. We’re born, we live, we die - if I’m not harming anyone else, why feel guilty about living my life in a way that is different than most. The thing I love most about it all is I can continue to change my mind - right now, this is perfect. I love waking up to the sun with a loose (or empty) agenda for the day. To spend hours reading, painting, taking photos, enjoying the company of my partner and friends, seeing new places, experiencing a whole gambit of emotions deeply.

Anyway, the point is that I don’t know what the point is - but I think living mindfully, slowly, helpfully, and trying to enjoy as many moments as possible is the way to go for me personally. Also, I’d like to get back outside - so until next time - happy trails!