Life on the Road: April 1 - April 16

We’d been planning a whole route we’d take when we hit the road - Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, back up to Idaho, then Wyoming. But due to COVID-19 we’ve stayed within a ~10 mile radius of the valley we used to live in permanently. Initially I was a little disappointed, the grand adventure I’d been imagining was getting put on hold. But, my life is pretty darn sweet and I recognize how lucky and privileged I am. Not only that, but this ultra slow travel is allowing me to get my systems dialed without the hustle of an itinerary. I get to learn what works for both me and the animals in spaces that I recognize. I’m getting to take the time to tackle some work projects I was feeling a little overwhelmed by. And - perhaps most importantly - being more stationary doesn’t have to mean a lack of the fun, adventure, and exploration I was looking for when I decided to make the leap. We’ve been taking walks on hills and spaces I’ve only seen in the very far distance. Checking out crazy lava tubes, craters, and winding backroads I hadn’t known existed. We’ve gotten to celebrate birthdays in outside spaces (so we could still say hello from a distance!). I’ve made cookies in the oven. We’ve played 2-player Catan (and didn’t even hate each other at the end!).

I feel happy. I feel grounded. I feel lighter than I’ve ever felt before. Both the dogs & I are getting more outside time than ever. I get to spend the vast majority of my days with beings I love and cherish. I get to spend time doing exactly what I want, or nothing at all.

But that being said. It’s never all roses, right?

My expectation of what life on the road would be like had a lot of “what-ifs” involved. What if Hops hates it? What if the dogs fight in such a small space? What if Jambo breaks down? What if she leaks? What if I dive in head first and completely hate it? What if I love it and never want to go back? What if, what if, what if.

I think I’ve always been something of a worrier - and its never been a trait I’ve particularly liked within myself. I’ll stress over small things that haven’t happened and may never happen.

I have a feeling there will always be some underlying tendencies there - but day by day I’m starting to let go of the worries bit by bit. Having lived and owned a house and now having time to live on the road in my own little home - I’m realizing that no matter what lifestyle you choose there will ALWAYS be something to worry about, and quite frankly it’s just not productive.

I could worry all day that I’m going to get a flat tire on a far out road, or that something will explode, or what if, what if, what if - I did that when I owned a house too and it was pretty miserable.

So how do you break the worrying habit? It’s something I’ve been thinking a LOT about lately. I think the first step was recognizing it’s just that - a habit. That it’s just not productive. And that it’s something I can work on mitigating. Fretting over things that may never be is just silly. Worrying means you’re suffering twice (apparently this is a quote from Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them - who knew!). Anytime I feel myself starting to circle around a fret, I take a deep breath and think about what I would do if that did happen - most of the time the solutions are pretty simple or totally doable.

“What if I break down on a back road?” - I’ll ride my bike to a spot I have service in and find help.

“What if someone breaks into my home?” - I’ll freeze all my accounts and report it.

“What if I get really sick out on the road” - I’ll call my doctor and get their opinion, Nate could drive me to the hospital, I can ride it out and hope for the best.

As I start to turn my worrying into solution finding, I’m already feeling more empowered. I’m realizing that feeling paralyzed by fear is my own choice, and it’s certainly no way to live a life full of all the things I value.

I’ll be back next week with more photos, updates, and thoughts from the road. Interested in signing up for my e-mail list so you can get travel tips, free stock photos, horrible puns, more photos of my animals, and other things that I haven’t even thought up yet? Sign up here!